AN ORIGINAL SCRIPT OR A
REMAKE? IT'S YOUR CHOICE!
by Rosemary
Davies-Janes |
A cold winter weekend offered an
ideal opportunity to engage in the popular seasonal sport of curling
up on the couch with a cozy blanket, a remote control and a raft of
“new release” movies. The films I chose were enjoyable and
entertaining, but afterwards I found myself thinking —not about
their storylines, heroes or villains—but about their predictability.
In a romantic comedy, it’s a sure bet that after some absurd and
amusing antics, everything will work out in the end. The guy will
get the girl, the estranged couple will reconcile, the girl will
finally see that Mr. Right has been “right there” all along…
Dramatic movies are likewise able to resolve their characters’
issues and challenges in their 90 to 180 minutes of running time.
The longed for child will be conceived (or delivered via another,
likely or unlikely route), the delinquent father will make amends to
his children, the hardened criminal will take responsibility for his
actions, and/or turn to God, and/or turn in his ill gotten gains,
and/or enlighten another inmate… Creative angles abound, but they
are mere variations on these very consistent comedic and dramatic
themes.
While we can learn a lot from movie characters’ experiences and
discoveries, it’s useful to notice the indelible impressions that
these carefully constructed, lavish productions make on our
thinking, values and expectations. Considering how Cinderella’s
story has impacted generations of women’s expectation of men, how
are movie characters’ goals, values and beliefs influencing our
own? Are our expressed desires truly the yearnings of our own
hearts, or are they merely concepts adopted from movies, TV and
advertisements? Are we allowing pop-culture to anesthetise our
ability to think original thoughts? How can we tell? <insert break
here if required>
After watching countless lives unfold on the big (or small) screen,
many of us find that when real life shows up, loose threads and all,
it feels like something’s wrong. It’s not “supposed” to be this
way. Dad was not supposed to die before we had a chance to tell him
how much we loved him. Our romantic hero is not supposed to marry
someone else, much less stay happily married to them for a
lifetime! Killers should not get away with murder—and yet they do.
This discrepancy between real life and life as portrayed by movies,
TV and other aspects of our popular culture can create serious
cognitive dissonance for those of us who are unaware of its
pervasive influence.
In Philadelphia in 2003, I introduced a new exercise into my
Authentic Personal Branding workshops which required participants to
describe their “dream lives.” They were asked, “If you had a magic
wand and could recreate your life without time, physical, geographic
or financial limitations, what would it be like?” This exercise
graced them with magical creative powers while removing all
limitations and constraints. While most participants were able to
generate lists of socially acceptable desires (“A luxury home.” “A
sports car.” “A million dollar jackpot.” “To be thin.” “To travel
around the world.” “To be successful in business.” ), no one could
explain why they wanted these things or what having them would do
for them. A few even complained that the exercise was “too hard.”
They were right! Surfacing our heart’s desires isn’t easy, but it
is important, for although fiction can inspire original thinking,
allowing mainstream cultural ideals to masquerade as our authentic
desires can cost us our very lives. We can’t get back the years of
effort and sacrifice we invested in getting “what we thought we
wanted.”
To create exciting, fulfilling lives, we must first examine our
soul-felt yearnings and distinguish them from the pre-packaged
cultural ideals that we “buy into.” (Do you really want to find your
soul mate – or are you happy on your own? Will you truly be happier
if you are 20 pounds lighter – or have perfect teeth?) We need to
develop the ability to tune out the razzle dazzle clamouring of our
culture and tune in to the gentle murmurings of our hearts. By
investing the time, the courage and the money needed to clarify our
true desires, we can create lives that are incredibly personally
rewarding. (Hiring a coach or therapist to support you in this work
can be extremely helpful and accelerates the process significantly.)
Now I won’t pretend that hearing our hearts’ desires is easy, for we
are as enmeshed in our culture as the peanuts in a Snickers bar are
in the chocolate and caramel. But connecting with our desires is a
positive challenge. In fact, if we want to live authentically; to
make a difference; to fulfill our purpose; to find satisfaction, joy
and true success—our very lives depend on it!
The yearnings of our heart fires the creative talents of our mind
which ignites the passions and unimaginable potential of our spirit.
These are our raw materials. When we work with these aspects of
ourselves we begin to live our lives as the unpredictable, exciting
adventures that they have the potential to be. Backing our desires
with conscious intentions alters the “realities” of time and space
by engaging the powers of manifestation. When we truly believe we
can have what we want, we get to watch in wonder as synchronicities
unfold, creating outcomes that far exceed our original expectations.
So by all means, enjoy movies and TV for their entertainment value
and their ability to present new ideas and information, but don’t
confuse their reality with your own. If you choose to live life as
an independent producer, writing your original screenplay and
directing the action as the story unfolds, you can. And if you are
too cautious to venture from the known into the unknown and choose
to live your life as the remake of a favorite film, there are many
roles to choose from. So once you’ve selected your part and stepped
into character, be sure to hire a good creative team, (writers,
directors, producers, stylists, etc.) so that the story of your life
continues to roll out on cue—for more than just 180 minutes.
Some Exercises for Authentic Living…
1. Look back to find times in your life when you were on top of the
world, supremely happy and fulfilled. Write down as many as you can
recall (minimum 3), then compare your notes to uncover common
themes, consistent plot lines, and similarities among the other
characters who were involved. What sorts of activities/people do you
consistently enjoy? What sorts of challenges bring out your best,
time and time again? Who and what brings you down/makes you
angry/wastes your time? Understanding your own operating system
enables you to differentiate “pipe dreams” from authentic and
achievable dreams. (If you’re 5’ tall and curvy, you will never be a
lithe leggy model, so make the most of what you’ve got!)
2. Make a list of everything that you have declared you want and
feel is important to you.
Prioritize the list. Now surface your heart’s desires by inviting
your heart to expose its deepest yearnings. (You can do this by
meditating, actively or passively, or by simply jotting down what
surfaces on anything that’s handy. Be sure to stock up on soap
crayons if you get your best ideas in the shower. Then put your
notes together and see what emerges!) Add these new desires to your
list and re-order, in terms of what is most to least important.
3. Take a trip into the future, to the end of your life. What do
you want to be able to say you have achieved? What don’t you want
to be remembered for?
Combine all of these exercise outcomes and you'll be able to create
a rudimentary guidance system for authentic living!
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